I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
