So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Four minutes until I can fart!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
