spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
