Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
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