Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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