i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize