maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My vagina is officially offended.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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