"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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