You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
