Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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