Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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