Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
