We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
