her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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