Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
