my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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