I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
