She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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