Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Send help, water and tortillas.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
