and you said cock pushups were impossible
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
