I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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