The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
