The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
