So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just pynch a tree in the face
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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