im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
