we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
