How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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