My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
