I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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