Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Say something about gay babies.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
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Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
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I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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