Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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