You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
