So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
