"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize