She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
