i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
