Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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