the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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