I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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