Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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