It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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