ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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