I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I want her autograph on my taint
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
