I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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