I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
