I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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