Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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