awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
