Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
