whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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