Even the bartender felt bad for me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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