Sry I called you an 8
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
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This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
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Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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