Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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