your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
