i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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