You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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