My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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