She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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